For the past few months, I have been serious in keeping a relationship. And yes, you are right. With a guy. Over and about it as some Capricorn will put it, I have tried and break all barriers that makes me the serious, un-adventurous, stable bloke that I thought I was. And then finally, someone broke me open. I suddenly became uninhibited and free to express my feeling and be vulnerable about it. Less fortunate however is that the guy suddenly fall out of it because he was living this straight guy image.
That's the thing when you kinda fall for someone who isn't totally with the mess you're in. It's not something that is very reparable so to speak, it's just not worth taking anymore, I think.
Currently, I am resisting the impulse of getting the idea of stop writing but I have to at least vent it out somehow without the hopes of people finding this blog. I have kept it secret and I will keep it secret until such time that I get re-acquianted with myself. And here I go.
With this scenario in mind, especially from where I was coming from, not a lot of people will find it very romantic. How can someone justify the fact that this straight guy suddenly turned gay? He has been tagged by all his friends as being a chick-magnet and here he is being attracted to a gay guy. It really doesn't make sense, for a lot of people.
My take about bisexuality is open. A lot of people retorted that bisexuality is something that transcends to a much more inhibitive states: that bisexuals are people who wants to do it with both sexes but is more inclined with the same sex. I think that it is true but it is still vague. Bisexuality is just that. That person enjoys doing it with both sexes. My problem is, being the attached, all-to-relationship kind of guy, when they are given the option of choosing which one to sustain romantically. This has been a perennial problem for me. I know these bisexuals who have found their way to my heart is somehow being nagged about the stigma the whole world has given to gay relationships. Most of them preferred to have me, mind you. But because of this stupid man world universe we are living, I'm stooped to fighting over a dead battle, eventually finding out that I'm some else's deepest darkest secret. That stupid line keeps on bugging me: "Yeah, I love you, but I love my life more and I am not willing to risk everything I did to build my image when people finds out that I love a guy," schtick.
Not that I'm saying that these guys should open to the entire planet and brag about being the new gay in town. I don't want that to happen and I am not willing to do that either. I just want these guys to know that if they find themselves being in this situation, it's just the same as with any other relationship with the opposite gender. We will need you. We will look for you. We will find ways to be with you. And we will expect the same things from you. This gay relationship is not entirely different from a straight relationship only that the earlier is tabooed and kept secret.
I'm soooo out of here.
Another useful blog presented to you by Half-Cooked Adobo. Seriously.
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