For the record, I'm good-looking. Not really a celebrity type, macho man, but I'm good enough to win a beauty contest. Is that an oxymoron, Sam? Whatever.
The thing about gay dating is that you don't have any idea what your position will be. I am not sure if I said it right. Sometimes, I find it hard to bend the rules a little or at least to make things work for me. Here is my typical dating routine:
Being the not-so open gay, I look for people I find attractive (That's the more political correct sense) in the internet. Where else should I look for? If there were any ways of flirting to guys I like in the most discreet possible way, I would have done that eons ago! And if you know one, please do tell me! But since, I'm not open so I'd have to stick around with this method.
I'm always in the look out on some gay social networking site, especially to sites that shows who viewed me. That is one way of getting the idea that someone likes you, although there is also a BIG chance of them just accidentally viewing me or viewed me but really didn't like me because well, they didn't like what they read on my profile. Tough luck! But that is one way of me getting to flirt to any guys online. But the thing with me that I should get out of is to send a message across that I like the person. I'm the type of guy who wants people, who finds me attractive, to tell him that he's interested and leaving him to decide if he likes him or not. I really hope you get that. I know this is called pride and I have to stop thinking I'm god's gift to gay-kind, but I'm just being as honest as everyone else tries to.
Chatting is one way I flirt online. Really now, I am not an excuse for the whole "Hey-dude-I'm-not-gay-but-I-like-you" scenario. Whatever that means. Almost every gay and lesbians divert in this covert way of finding true love. This seamless invention lead me to a lot of gay adventures and I'm hesitant to say that I'm grateful for it.
Finding people who is just like me, gay but not gay-er is tough. Tougher if you're not internet savvy. I'm happy that I was born in the age of internet. When older gay friends tell me of what they do before in getting hook-ups, it never fails me to jaw-drop on how they manage to do it. I mean to say, going to cinemas, talking over party phones, sending personal ads in the newspaper. The thought of it makes me feel very uncomfortable but if I was born in the same time, I think I will be very tactical about it.
Speaking of which, I also find it quite daring to try and find hook-ups on gyms and health club facilities. Ah, gay heaven, I always thought. There are people who tried to hook-up with me there, by showing off parts of their genitals and stuff I'd want to share but I'm afraid of getting flagged due to "inappropriate contents" which I find a turn-off. Some guys there would stare at me, hoping to make eye contact and searching for any clues that I'm interested, I don't know, I guess by smiling at them or showing parts of my body I find inappropriate of showing. This I haven't done yet. I'm very choosy, you know. It is also a problem, with the ego-thing, that if in case I find someone I like, I show him how uninterested I am at some point. To be honest, I have this wicked mental program that says, "Hey, ALOT of people find me very attractive. If I find you attractive, then that makes you more attractive that I am." I really have to reprogram that if I am on the mission of finding love in the queerest places possible but for now, my honesty to myself is helping me out, so no worries there.
Minus everything aside, there is one thing that I am slowly turning my eyes into. Parties! I'm a very homey dude who just like to chill out at home, digging on sandwiches and watching movies online or some video clips on you tube or just surfing for porn. Heck, while writing that, I feel such a total nerd. I have been invited to attend parties organized by guys who loves to have sex with guys too ONLY. From where I came from, we call them People Like Us or PLU. It gives us the thought of isolation from the whole gay crowd you see. It may sound discriminatory, but it's more preferential if you ask me. Of course, we don't want to be associated with guys who like to get it on with guys too, wear make-up and act like a girl. That will be, uhm, way too gay. No offense, but we don't want to blow our cover, see? I love this kind of party because you just hear light music, no bands there and stuff. It is geared towards casual conversations and drinking some of the finest wines my friends will bring along. (I'm such a wine sucker!) It feels like just at home, well, with friends and some 'invites' too. I was hoping for such a long time for them to find me someone whom I can focus my energies on... but they thought I was way too busy serving people looking for temporary shelter.
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