I made a blog yesterday how I flirt to people like me. In fact, I almost spill everything out if not only I was interrupted by biological means.
In my not so distant past, I met someone who I felt love and something I was not even aware I was capable of doing and feeling. Whatever it was, I know that when it happens it happens and there is little I can do about it but to feel for it. I don't know exactly how to put it in digital format, but the least I can do to save my utter blabbing to blab about it--no holds bar.
You see, we started out okay. I met him at a bar, well, before that he sent me a message in Friendster telling me that like him, he too was from our province. You know how things started and how things blossoms between two people and how it just happens to find their way into each one's awareness.
The gist of the entire love hopefully was that it was not a happy-ever-after. It was more like stop in the name of what you call love. He was driving me insane! I couldn't relate to whatever he wanted to do with his life.
He's a singer and almost famous from where we are. I understand how discreet he wishes to be but what he was doing was far out the worst I have ever seen. I wish at times I could just shout at him face to face dictating how I feel about it and that he is so confusing! He gives out mixed signals and I could only interpret only one of 'em. He will not talk to me for months and if he does, he will send out sweet nothings as if he has been there always. I'm grew sick of it until one day, no matter how much I tried to hold back my anger, I blew the whistle already.
You know, I like you a lot. I did everything just so you know that I mean it. I never asked you to reciprocate. I only want to know what are you planning. What do you really want? Do you really like me or are you just using me to fill that emptiness you keep on blabbing about? You give me mixed signals that you do, but then again on one end, you're saying that you don't. Where in the world do you want me to be at? All I am asking is for you to tell me if you like me too and I will move mountains for you.
Then you have to say the meanest thing ever, that you came to me because you were lonely. I was hoping you'd say I came to you because I like you. It would have been the best thing you could ever say, but you shove me off just like that. I tried to muffle the feelings but it was too painful for me to realize that I was used and was not loved in anyway. I feel like a trophy in your cabinet, only there to make you look back on the accomplishment you have made by getting through me. That was a very harsh thing to do for someone who loves you a lot. If you really don't like me, it was as simple as saying so, but you ignorant bastard took it on a not so benign way!
At least the good thing about it is that I'm fairly smart and I have seen right through you. The only foolish thing for me to do was to wait for you-- and to grow tired doing it. It was also a good thing that I see the best in everything. I just gave myself a tap on the shoulder, congratulating myself for not being foolish enough to live by your game.
But above all these rants, thank you for letting me feel that I can love again.
Another useful blog presented to you by Half-Cooked Adobo. Seriously.
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